Sex Ed
by carathay
Summary: Mindy is back in town after the end of KA2. One night, she makes Dave a sexy offer only to realize that she doesn't really know what she's doing. This story could have been part of No One Takes Down Hit Girl but Hit Girl but really just didn't fit. But, I had to get it out of my head before I could go on. Lots of sex with respect emphasized.


Sex Ed

_Author note: Originally written as a chapter for "No One Takes Down Hit Girl but Hit Girl" but it just doesn't fit. (Feel free to add any dirty joke you want here. My current favorite is 'It doesn't fit Krackow – it's too big!") Not dedicated, because that would be inappropriate. I had to get this out of my head to continue on the other story. _

_Another note: Whoever decided to put a cover of Bad Reputation on the KA Sound track instead of the original Joan Jett version that was actually used in the film… You annoy me. My apologies to 'The Hit Girls' who did the cover, but really, you were trying to imitate Joan Jett. It wasn't going to work. You should have left your instruments in the cases._

_Contains SEX, SMUT, PORN REFERENCES, etc._

After the debacle with the Motherfucker, I laid low for a while but finally came back to the city. Marcus was long gone, but Dave was still there, living like a fucking idiot in his old house. I was impressed with the workouts he'd been doing on his own. Although the new metal helmet was absolutely mental. Who did he think he was, Iron Man? Anytime he put it on, I'd sneak up behind him and start tapping on it with my knives. It made a cool ringing noise. I laughed my ass of but he was not amused.

We went back to patrolling, although we did it low profile. No walking down well lit streets chumming with the public. We did what Daddy and I had done before he died. Spied out crack houses, drug dealers, and any other gatherings of human garbage and took them out. We also took any cash. This superhero shit wasn't cheap. My body had put on another growth spurt and started to 'fill out' so I'd had to completely rebuild my costume. Plus buy new body armor to go inside it. Those sexist assholes charged three times as much for new Kevlar that my tits would fit in.

I was really having fun though. My 'filling out' seemed to have convinced Dave that I wasn't a kid anymore. I caught him sneaking looks at me about as often as I snuck looks at him. We were beating around the bush quite a bit when we were together. (Beating around the bush . I crack myself up.)

We'd taken out a common group of thugs one night and surprisingly it not only left us just warmed up but without blood or unidentifiable gunk splashed on either of us. (One of the many hazards of fighting people who lived in back alleys without proper sanitation.) We climbed up onto a rooftop to rest and the moon was so beautiful, I just started to spin around like a silly person. Then I grabbed Dave and kissed him, hard. After a moment of surprise, he kissed back. Yes! He wrapped his arms around me and kind of picked me up via my butt as we kissed. I liked that a lot. I wrapped my legs around his middle. We kept that up for several minutes and I pulled away slightly. I'd been planning this for a while, so echoing Mr. Date Ditch, I asked Dave "Wanna hookup?"

He pulled away a little more. "What?" he said.

"Sex dumbass!" I beamed at him. I wasn't sure why he wasn't beaming back. He continued to just look shocked. So, I pulled his ear close to my mouth and said in my most seductive voice "I want you to fuck me until I can't walk straight."

The son of a bitch dropped me.

Then he made excuse that he needed to leave. It was so fake I don't even remember what it was. He got the hell out of there as fast as he could. I wasn't sure if my ass or my ego hurt more. I picked myself up and went back to the safe house. I went to the small target range and put up a human sized target. I wrote Dave across it in big letters. Then in between bites of ice cream, I shot it repeatedly in the nuts.

Dave didn't talk to me for about a week, and then it was texting only for another week. This gave some time for my ego and the big bruise on my ass to heal. Neither one of us mentioned what happened. I was still hurt, but I tried to ignore it. Why hadn't he wanted me? He'd fucked Katie and Night Bitch. Why not me? I suppose the reason that I didn't totally sink into self pity was that another voice was just a little bit happy that he hadn't said yes.

You see, I'd created my plan to fuck Dave without exactly knowing what fucking was. Not the brightest thing I've ever done. But hey, it sounded good.

I figured that he'd done it before and I'm generally a quick learner. But I hadn't really thought it through when I'd wanted to go from zero to laid in about 10 minutes. It just seemed like the proper next step. My only education on courtship had come from scenes in action movies, where after a few kisses, the guy basically climbed on top of the girl and they both moaned a lot. So, I'd thought that, no problem, I could do that. It looked like a lot of fun.

So, when you don't know the answer to something, where do you go? The Internet. I looked at pictures of naked guys. Naked guys with boners. I spent a little bit of time looking at myself and trying to figure out how the hell that was supposed to fit in me. I mean, a tampon fit, but cocks were much bigger than tampons. Then I downloaded a porn movie. I was, like, 'Holy Shit!" It didn't take too long to figure out how things fit. So I felt a little bit better.

I sat there mesmerized. I wasn't turned on though. Some of the things they were doing looked a bit fun and others looked disgusting. And the girls just did whatever the guy told them to do. If that was how sex worked, I wasn't sure I could do that even with or for Dave. I mean, I was just supposed to kneel there while he… Gross! And some of it made no sense at all. I mean, what the hell did that guy just do to her butt!?

Of course, as is apparently the rule when one watches porn, I got caught. Dave had been promising to come over for several days now, but since he hadn't showed, I'd ignored it. The key in the lock suddenly seemed to echo through the apartment and I panicked. OK, I more than panicked. I screamed like a little girl. No tactical response, no knife to the throat. No roll behind cover. Nothing I'd usually do if someone startled me. Just shame like I'd never felt before. I slammed the screen down, spun around on the stool I was sitting on and tried to pretend nothing had happened.

"Hi, Dave. Long time no see." I was grasping at straws and I knew it. My face felt warm.

"Umm, yeah. What the hell was that scream for?" My face grew red and I looked down.

He stared right into my eyes, or rather, where my eyes would have been if I wasn't hiding, that bastard. I could feel it even though I couldn't look up. I got up and went to sit on the couch, facing away from him. The silence between us was like a weight. Finally, he broke it. "Mindy, we need to talk?"

"No we don't." I managed to get out.

He sat down on the couch and I flinched away. "Even though I'm a little afraid you'll kick the shit out of me for this, I'm going to say it again? We need to talk?"

"Look, I don't feel good. I'm on my period." I figured that would shut him up. No guy likes to talk about that. I was safe.

"No you aren't." He said, sounding incredibly confidant.

Shit. He was immune to girl talk. I stared back in shock. "How do you know? I mean…. Aww fuck. OK, I'm not." I finally confessed. Then curiosity got the better of me. "Wait, seriously, how do you know?" I asked. He grabbed his phone and after a few swipes, tossed it to me. It was set to the calendar, and sure as shit, the days right around my monthlies were marked 'DPOM'. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"It stands for 'Don't piss off Mindy'." Dave replied. "I figure it's a hazard of spending time with someone who's more likely to throw a knife at you than yell if you tick her off."

I really wanted to yell at him, but actually, that was kind of smart. I finally just tossed the phone back.

"What was on that on the computer?"

I tried to cover. "I was looking for unsolved murders."

"I don't think the person on that screen was being murdered. Far from it, actually." He said.

"You saw? Shit! Why is this fucking happening to me?" I buried my head in the cushions. "OK, I was watching porn."

"Why?" He replied, incredulous.

"I don't know all that much about sex." I said directly into the cushions.

"And you thought porn would help?" He continued.

"Well, I started looking stuff up, and then I found the movie, OK? Apparently it isn't difficult to find porn on the internet." I said.

"Umm, no, it isn't." he agreed. Then he tried not to laugh. I had to give him credit for that. He really tried. I half heartedly threw the couch pillows at him then laughed a bit myself. "OK, OK." I said. "Seriously, I don't know that much."

That managed to cut through his laughter. "Really?" he said. He was incredulous, but not insulting. "But you wanted me to fuck you a few weeks ago."

"Yeah, well, I figured you knew what you were doing and I'd pick it up as we went along. But you weren't interested, so forget it." I said.

"Then thank God I said no that night. You knew nothing?" he asked.

"I'm not sure that it matters, but, I do know some. Daddy did explain the baby part once, but he didn't go into much detail. And Marcus tried to pretend sex didn't exist. I killed some rapists and perverts, but Daddy didn't talk about what they did, just that it was bad. I even had to figure out the period stuff on my own." Then I pointed at the offending laptop. "But now that I do know, I'm never having sex. I'm not doing that shit!"

"What in the hell were you watching?" I refused to answer. He just walked over, popped open the screen. The cheesy porn music started playing. He was obviously skipping around a bit because the sound cut in and out. Then he came back. "Wow. 'Cock Sucking Anal Whores 4'. Probably not the best thing you could have chosen." I was relieved that he didn't sound turned by it either. "Look, Mindy, what happens in a porno isn't love. It isn't even really sex. It's mostly just a way for guys to get off." My confusion was so strong I was pretty sure they could feel it across the street.

"So what the hell are love and sex, damn it!" I was starting to get pissed off. I started to look for something to throw and he automatically started to duck. My anger crumbled as I remembered his phone. "DPOM. OK, if you know so much, help me!"

He knelt in front of me. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes." I said. "But I'm still not doing that! And you don't want me, so why does it fucking matter!" I again pointed at the laptop.

"Mindy, nobody does that. Well, I suppose a few people get off on doing naughty or taboo things. Not most people though. Seriously, why the hell would a girl want some guy to come on her face, like she's some puppy waiting for a treat. And why would a decent guy want a girl to do that? Or for that matter, any of the other crazy shit in that video."

"They wouldn't?" I said.

"No." Dave said. "Look. Sex is sharing pleasure with someone you at least respect. And loving is that plus caring as much about what you are giving as what you receive. I'm sorry to both you and your butt that I panicked and dropped you the other night. I do want you, very much, in fact. You just took me by surprise."

"So you're scared too?" I asked.

"Yes." He replied.

"But you've done this before!" I wailed.

"Yes, but not with someone I really cared about. Not with you." The catch in his voice got my attention and helped me to let go of the resentment. He did want me!

"So, what do we do?" I asked, breathless.

"Well, first I'll kiss you." He leaned in and held me too him as we kissed for quite some time. First on the lips then on ears, necks, collarbones, whatever wasn't covered by our clothing. He even kissed my fingertips. I was starting to feel warm.

"OK, I like that." I said. "Next?"

"Let's get more comfy."

"OK" I said. He started to stroke my sides, teasing me. He started kissing again and I melted into the kisses. It was wonderful. I was still scared, but not quite the same way, maybe with a bit of anticipation thrown in. He pulled off my shirt and bra, and then started kissing up and down my torso. I couldn't believe that I let him do that. Just to stay even, I pulled his shirt off too. Now his kisses wandered all over my upper body. My hands moved over him, trying to copy the movements. He moved down to my breasts. Not the nipples yet. Just the outside. Now I was beginning to understand why people liked this. After he teased me enough, he captured on nipple in his mouth and gently swirled his tongue around it, while he pinched the other. It was like a little lightning bolt shot into my pussy. I moaned. I couldn't help it. I understood this part. This is what I'd seen in normal movies.

He pulled back for a minute. "Are you still doing OK?" he asked.

"What do you think, dumbass?" I said and pulled him back.

After several trips back up to my mouth and then back to nipples, he started to tug on my pants. Without even thinking, I raised myself up. What the hell was wrong with me? They were gone in an instant along with my panties. I couldn't believe it. No one had EVER seen me this way. He kept kissing my breasts but his fingers began to roam farther across my body. My legs moved apart so I could get him closer to me. Lightning bolts were pretty continuous at this point, hitting either my brain or my pussy or both. I felt a gentle touch at the entrance to my pussy and tensed up, only to discover that I was so wet that his finger slipped up and down on me. He began to rub the good spot that I'd found for myself a few times but the combination of how slippery I was and that someone else was doing it made it a hundred times better. My legs moved farther apart so that maybe he would get closer. I was tensing and releasing muscles, but not because of nervousness now. His kisses had been moving steadily downward and now began peppering the insides of my thighs. I remembered seeing a guy do this to a girl in the video and I'd thought it looked disgusting. It didn't seem that way now. He paused for a moment just staring at me and shit, I'd never felt that sexy in my life. I slid my butt across the seat cushion closer to him and I felt a kiss on my lower lips. First a peck, then a deep kiss and I felt his tongue flicker inside me for the first time. I actually yearned for more. I was thrashing a bit at this point, but he held me gently. If I wanted to get away, wanted him to stop, there would have been no problem making it happen. And that was even if I wasn't capable of killing him with a finger. His tongue kept moving up and down and his fingers roamed from my breasts and nipples down to my inner thighs. Finally, he grasped the inside of both knees, pushed me even more wide open, and sucked my…clitoris! That's that it was called! He sucked my clitoris into his mouth and began doing something with his tongue that I didn't even understand. It just felt unearthly. Finally, I just thrashed and thrashed and thrashed and screamed. After what seemed like both forever and just a moment, I flopped onto my side on the couch.

"That was an orgasm." Dave said, cheerfully.

"No shit, Sherlock." I replied, breathless.

"Was that yucky or degrading?" he asked.

"Fuck no." I said. I looked at him. His face was a wee bit messy. "Well, maybe for you?" I asked tentatively

"Nope." He replied. "Watching you thrash was WAY too much fun." He quickly grabbed a tissue and wiped his face. He came in for a kiss and I didn't even hesitate. He tasted a bit different and I realized it was me. And somehow I didn't mind. We kissed some more and I tugged the rest of our assorted clothes off. I started kissing his chest and working my way toward his stomach, and not so incidentally, his dick. He stopped me. "Mindy? No. You don't have to do that. I went down on you because I wanted to."

"Shut the fuck up!" I told him. "I'm starting to understand all of this, OK? I don't 'have' to do jack shit. But I 'want' to make you thrash around like you did me." It was an amazing revelation. In the video, this had been degrading. Subservient. Gross. And that was because the guy was in charge and making the girl do it. But since I was the one in control right now, it was actually pretty exciting. After staring into my eyes long enough to make sure I wasn't lying to him, he let go of me and let me proceed. I touched him all over, gliding my hand over the soft skin. I kissed every bit of skin surrounding his cock, then began to lick the tip of it. I tasted a bit of him. Not really pleasant or unpleasant, just him. I figured it was kind of like him tasting me. I started duplicating some of the things I'd seen in the video, and if they made him moan or jump, I kept them up. Oh my god, this was power. I began to get turned on again, and it wasn't because I was sucking on him. It was because of what I was doing to him. After a few long minutes of this, he started to pant.

"Mindy – I'm going to… going to…" Well, I wasn't quite ready to swallow that stuff, so I grabbed a tissue and used my hands for the last bit. He groaned and proceeded to make the tissue very, very sticky. I smiled at him, then pulled him to his feet and toward the bed. He looked like he wanted to argue with me, but I think he could tell I wasn't having any of it. I tossed him onto the bed and crawled next to him. "Mindy, I don't have a condom with me." He said, with a lot of regret in his voice. I reached into the drawer by the bed and grabbed one. His eyes popped open in surprise.

"Like I said, I know SOME things. But you have to put the damn thing on!" I actually giggled at him. I wasn't sure if I'd ever giggled before.

"Are you sure you want to do this too?" He asked. My next kiss apparently convinced him. We rolled around a bit kissing and stroking each other until he was ready to go again. He 'sheathed his weapon' in the rubber and crawled on top of me. Then he paused. "You've never done this?"

"No. But I'm ready. Get with it!" I said. He started to ease into me and it felt glorious. But he was going way to slow. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm afraid it might hurt you. It does a lot of girls the first time." He replied.

"Dave, I've been doing gymnastics and martial arts for over 10 years. I don't have a cherry to pop." With that, I pulled him directly in. Then I shrieked. Dave's eyes went wild but I held him carefully in place. "OK, I did have one. That hurt." I blinked a bit trying to get used to the pain. "Give me a minute."

Dave stayed as still as a statue. "Do you want me to pull out or…"

I interrupted him. "No. No moving. Just wait." After a few minutes, the pain seemed to lesson a bit. "OK, try moving slowly." I gritted my teeth a bit, but as he kept going, some of the good feelings overrode the pain. Then he reached between us and started rubbing my clit. That got me past the last of the pain that mattered. I mean, it still hurt some, but so does the last 100 yards of a marathon. It's a good hurt and is still worth it to keep going to the end. He started moaning some and I managed to join him. He got faster and it got better. He started muttering about hot and tight and such and I just said "Right – feels like the inside of a pussy. Keep going!" Finally I began to thrash and I'm pretty sure that set him off because he pushed deeper than he had before and began to pulse inside me. My body pulsed with and we both collapsed.

"Dave…. Dave…. You're squishing me!" I rasped out. He moved and pulled out of me. As he cleaned up a bit, I looked down at the sheets. "Well, these are ruined" I said. Dave took a second to grab a towel for me and after I cleaned up, we cuddled together under the blankets.

"Well?" Dave asked, with all kinds of levels of question in his tone. "Did I fuck you until you can't walk straight?"

"No." I replied. "You made love to me until I couldn't walk straight. Thank you for showing me the difference."


End file.
